This is part 3 of a 3 part series. Read part 2 here.
So, you’re thinking about quitting, huh? It’s OK. It’s a scary thing to consider and there’s nothing wrong with you as an athlete for contemplating it. You are NOT a bad teammate, shitty friend, or quitter. In fact, according to the New York Times, around 15% of college athletes on scholarship end up quitting (Pennington, 2008). That said, I understand that as athletes, giving up is vilified, and breaking through is supposed to be the norm. To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift, right? Steve Prefontaine said that. You want to be like him, don’t you?
No. Maybe you don’t. And that’s OK.
In this blog, I’m going to cover:
- The Benefits of Journaling
- When To Consider Quitting
- How To Tell Your Coach
The Benefits of Journaling
Journaling? But I thought this was going to be about quitting my sport so I could focus on the other THOUSAND things I have to do as a college student? Well, yes, this post is about quitting, but it’s also about understanding yourself in the context of your sport, your school and your work as a student athlete. And a great way to understand yourself is to pick up that mighty pen and put it to paper.
Courtesy of tenor.com [Alt Text: A GIF of Spongebob writing intensely writing the word ‘The’.]
“Writing removes mental blocks and allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself, others and the world around you,” (Purcell, 2014, p. 1) says licensed clinical social worker Maud Purcell in her aptly titled article The Health Benefits of Journaling. Journaling can help you untangle those knotted thoughts so you can understand what’s truly the right decision for you at this moment.
When To Consider Quitting
Okay, back to quitting. If you’ve made it this far in your athletic career, you’re much more hard-working and talented than the average athlete. And since that’s the case, your sport likely means a lot more to you than the average person. In a certain way, it’s part of who you are as a person, so you’re going to have a lot of fear and anxiety mixed into the process of quitting (or even contemplating it).
Though it can be beneficial to talk things out with friends and family members, people may try to convince you that their perspective is the right one. But remember, when it comes to your thoughts and feelings, you’re the expert. In fact, we see something similar in the practice of therapy. “It can be helpful for the therapist to accept the role of being the expert regarding therapy, while the client is given the role of expert regarding his or her life” (Sue, 2019). So how do you know if quitting is the right move? You guessed it, journaling.
Below, I’ve listed a few questions to get the thinking process started. Think of these as mental appetizers for self-reflection. Write them down in your journal and then take a look at your answers.
- How are you feeling right now?
- How do you feel when you think about practice? Games? Your sport in general?
- How often do you feel completely burnt out and overwhelmed?
- When you do feel burnt out or overwhelmed, what do you think is contributing the most to that feeling?
- Is it possible to put the cause of that feeling on pause?
- When was the last time you didn’t feel burnt out and overwhelmed? Why do you think you felt OK then?
If it seems like you’re leaning toward quitting, or that your sport (and all the stress and extra commitments it brings) is too much of a burden, it’s time to talk to your coach about quitting.
How To Tell Your Coach
While you could put the pen down, walk over to your coach’s office and spill your guts right now, I recommend patience. This is going to be an emotional – and potentially challenging – conversation. You’re putting an end to your competitive athletic career. The key here is to use that journal once again to do some prep work ahead of this tough conversation. Unfortunately, it’s never as simple as, “I quit.” Your coach will likely ask you about your thought process, when you’re hoping to hang it all up, and if there is anything they can do to persuade you to stay. So with that in mind, it’s best to come prepared. According to the University of Colorado Boulder, “Planning ahead can help you organize your thoughts, share your views in a respectful way and be open to hearing the other person’s point of view” (University of Colorado Boulder, 2020).
Courtesy of tenor.com [Alt Text: GIF of Squidward quitting.]
Similar to the section above, asking yourself some questions and jotting down the answers can be helpful in clarifying your thoughts ahead of the conversation. Below I’ve listed a couple of questions provided from CU Boulder, followed by a few of my own.
- What would be an ideal outcome?
- What assumptions am I making about the other person or how they’ll respond? (University of Colorado Boulder, 2020)
- Why do I want to quit?
- When am I planning on quitting?
- Is there anything my coach could offer that will keep me on the team?
Now that you’ve got a solid handle on your reasons and your flexibility, it’s time to walk in there and have the conversation. You’ve got this.
Written By: James Schiff
References
Pennington, B. (2008, Mar. 12,). It’s not an adventure, it’s a job . The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/12/sports/12lifestyles.html
Purcell, M. (2014). The health benefits of journaling . https://www.communityofmindfulparenting.com/curriculum/week7/S7-Articles-TheHealthBenefitsofJournaling.pdf
Sue, D. W., Sue, D., Neville, H. A., & Smith, L. (2019). Counseling the culturally diverse : Theory and practice. John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated.University of Colorado Boulder. (2020). How to make the most of a tough conversation . http://www.colorado.edu. https://www.colorado.edu/health/2020/12/08/how-make-most-tough-conversation
The Delphic Oracle 